Gone
by tempus
Summary: How would Harry react if told that Draco is gone?


Gone  
  
by Tempus  
  
I rubbed my eyes. It was three in the morning. Normally, I'd be sleeping at this time, but Ron told me there was something which needed to be attended to immediately. And that Hermione needed to be there when we talked about it. So there we were in the Gryffindor Common Room, ready to talk.  
  
The silence was only occasionally broken by the snapping of the wood in the fireplace. Apparently, none of them had prepared the speech.  
  
"You said it was urgent," I said, closing my eyes. "I'm here. Go on, talk."  
  
After a few moments of hesitation, Herm spoke. "We." she seemed to glance nervously at Ron, "We know about you and Malfoy.."  
  
"Oh," I replied nonchalantly. Saves me the explaining as to where I am every night, then. "Would that be all?"  
  
Strange how Ron has remained silent about this. At least, until.  
  
"He's gone."  
  
My eyes snapped open and I stared into his cold blue eyes. "What did you say?"  
  
"Well, not gone," Hermione added immediately after seeing my reaction, "Just. not coming back." She averted her gaze from mine.  
  
"Draco's not coming back? Gone? What do you-" I couldn't understand. Draco was- "He was with me just last night! Where could he go, and why can't he come back?"  
  
"His father sent for him a-"  
  
"That doesn't matter, because it isn't the point!" Ron was apparently furious. "Why didn't you tell us?! And-"  
  
"Ron!" Herm snapped, but Ron wasn't finished yet.  
  
"And with Malfoy, of all people!"  
  
I opened my lips to answer that I couldn't tell them because I didn't know how, and that he couldn't care less why I chose Draco because he wouldn't listen anyway, but Hermione -  
  
"Enough!"  
  
--she silenced me before I could even start. And I lost all placing of words.  
  
I was left with a sigh.  
  
There had been threats of war and the Dark Lord's rising for the past few weeks. All of us had been on our toes, anticipating their first move. Already the stress caused by lack of sleep, and sudden rousing had started taking their toll on me. And now this. I was too tired to put things together. To match Draco's 'disappearance' with the past events, and to explain it all to Ron - who was clearly in no condition to listen to me - was too much, too exhausting for me.  
  
"I'm tired," was all I could tell them, and I headed to my dorm bed.  
  
There was no need to worry, after all. Draco had been with me only a few hours ago. He couldn't be gone.  
  
Right, he can't be gone.  
  
And I fell asleep.  
  
.  
  
"Wake up, Harry."  
  
Draco's voice.  
  
I smiled. I knew Ron and Herm couldn't be right.  
  
"Get up, Potter, or we'll be late for breakfast."  
  
I opened my eyes. Draco was right he-  
  
"Draco?"  
  
There was no one.  
  
.  
  
Ron had been ignoring me. Hermione hadn't said a word. And Draco had been strangely silent this whole Transfiguration class.  
  
He's just there, staring out the window, watching the rain.  
  
Draco had always been sentimental.  
  
"Mister Potter!"  
  
I turned to McGonagal and whispered, "Sorry." When she resumed teaching, I resumed staring at Draco.  
  
As though sensing my stare, he turned to me and smirked. His silver orbs held a naughty glint to them. And I couldn't help but smirk back.  
  
"Mister Potter, what on earth are you smirking at? And why are you smirking?" the Old Hag (as Draco loved to call her) asked furiously. "Surely the loss of your brain cells as you stare out into space is no reason for you to smirk about! Or perhaps you've lost enough to disable you to think properly and time your own facial expressions?"  
  
I looked at her and blinked at what she said. Staring at Draco had never been a waste of brain cells. Then, I muttered, "I'm sorry, Ma'am. Shan't happen again."  
  
"I do hope it doesn't, Mister Potter, for your own sake," she replied finally, then went back to teaching the lesson.  
  
I turned to where Draco was seated, to roll my eyes.  
  
He wasn't there anymore.  
  
.  
  
I didn't see him around after that. And he didn't wake me the next morning.  
  
So I got up, all grumpy and sorts, and decided a quick shower would do me good. Right. All I needed was a quick shower. In the Prefects' Bathroom.  
  
It wasn't long before he came in after me.  
  
"You know you aren't allowed in here, Potter."  
  
I looked straight into mischievous silver and coldly said, "You didn't wake me."  
  
"I didn't have the time," he said right before our lips met into a torrid kiss.  
  
I closed my eyes and succumbed. It had been an eternity since we last kissed. (Alright, a day or so, but that is an eternity.) I felt all my anger and stress melt away as I gave in to him and to his skilled tongue and skin and lips.  
  
A few moments later we were just there, forehead against forehead and eyes closed, just soaking the precious moment we were having.  
  
"You kept disappearing," I said to him, a small pout on my lips, "Why?"  
  
I felt him smirk.  
  
"Because I was never there."  
  
My eyes flew open. "Malfoy!"  
  
The echoes of his last name in the Prefects' bath told me that I was indeed alone.  
  
.  
  
It's been so long since that conversation in the Commons. Ron still won't speak to me; all he keeps saying is that I'm a stubborn pig-headed scar- boy. Hermione keeps insisting that once I admit to myself and to Ron that Draco's gone, Ron will start speaking to me again. But I've seen Draco too often for him to be gone.  
  
In the halls, in classes, in the Library. He's everywhere. All the time.  
  
I needn't mention I only see him. And that we don't talk. Or that every time I reach out to him and try to touch him, he vanishes into thin air.  
  
No; I needn't mention that. Just as I needn't mention the fact that people keep asking me why I keep reaching out to air. And that they think I'm bonkers. And that he's gone.  
  
Because I'm not. And Draco's not gone.  
  
He is going to wake me up. Anytime now, he'll pull me out of this nightmare.  
  
Anytime now.  
  
"Harry."  
  
Draco.  
  
"Wake up, Harry."  
  
What if he isn't there when I wake up? Just like -  
  
"Harry."  
  
--the other times he'd wake me only to disappear and haunt me?  
  
"Potter."  
  
What if they're right?  
  
"Open your eyes!"  
  
What if he is gone?  
  
"Potter."  
  
Am I--  
  
"Open."  
  
--going-  
  
"Your."  
  
--crazy?  
  
"Eyes!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
Silence.  
  
.  
  
"Why won't you open your eyes?"  
  
"Because I'm afraid."  
  
I heard him giggle. "Famous Harry Potter finally admits being afraid. Now the Gryffindors have no one to look up to." His tone of voice then shifted to an apparently feigned pitiful tone, "Who will the little Lions look up to now? Goodbye Gryffindor courage. And nice timing, too. Just when the war was starting.."  
  
"Stop it!"  
  
A sigh, and I felt him sit down beside me in bed. "What are you afraid of?"  
  
"I."  
  
Somehow, saying I was afraid he'd disappear sounded so crazy.  
  
"I'm afraid you'll disappear again."  
  
But I said it anyway.  
  
He snorted. "Why would I disappear? I'm always here."  
  
"No you aren't."  
  
"Open your eyes and see for yourself."  
  
"I won't."  
  
"Why won't you?"  
  
"Because you're only real in my dreams."  
  
Silence.  
  
.  
  
"Draco?"  
  
He didn't answer.  
  
I panicked.  
  
"Draco?"  
  
I dared to open my eyes, and looked around the room.  
  
I was in the hospital wing. Same bed I was in that time I injured myself in Quidditch in First Year.  
  
Draco was asleep at my bedside. He was seated on a chair, and his head was resting on his folded arms on the bed.  
  
I wanted to reach out and touch his platinum silver strands. To finally touch him after so long.  
  
I closed my eyes so that I could not see him disappear when he did.  
  
But to my surprise, my hand came in contact with silky hair.  
  
I opened my eyes and looked at him, just to make sure it was real.  
  
He opened his eyes, God how I've missed them, and smirked. "Finally awake?"  
  
"Oh, god!" I felt tears brim in my eyes. "You're really here! Oh god, Draco."  
  
I turned and tried to sit up, and hold him. But as I did, something pulled me back down on the bed.  
  
It was only then that I saw the straps. Brown leather straps were tied to my waist, my wrists, and ankles. As though I were some insane man.  
  
.  
  
I struggled to get them off. I wriggled, and pulled, and tugged. But they still wouldn't budge.  
  
And Draco was just looking at me.  
  
"Draco, help me!" I screamed at him, calling him to help me out of the contraptions. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to be with him. This time, he didn't disappear, and I was certain he was real. He could help me out, but he didn't move. I started to cry. "Help me out of here! Draco--"  
  
"I AM NOT DRACO!"  
  
I stopped. And instead of Draco, Ron was there, staring at me with furious blue eyes and screaming.  
  
"Get it to your head, Harry! I am NOT Malfoy, and I will never be! Malfoy is GONE, Harry! HE IS GONE!!!"  
  
.  
  
..  
  
.  
  
..  
  
.  
  
I heard Madame Pomfrey's voice from behind the curtains around my bed.  
  
"He's lost a grip on reality," the witch said ruefully and I saw her shake her head. "He keeps on saying Malfoy is there, albeit he isn't."  
  
"He's been like this since that day." I heard Hermione whisper through painfully hushed sobs, "Since we told him Malfoy isn't coming back."  
  
The staff from the Hospital seemed confused. "Why can't this Malfoy come back? He seems to mean a lot to Harry. Perhaps his return would help Harry recover from the delusions."  
  
There was silence.  
  
Speak up! I want to know, too!  
  
"Because Malfoy," Madame Pomfrey said, voice void of emotions, "is dead."  
  
Suddenly I didn't want to hear any more.  
  
"Evidently, Lucius Malfoy found out about his son's affair with the Golden Boy and decided he wouldn't have it. Killed young Malfoy himself. Now under trial."  
  
I just wanted to die. In that bed. Because I felt my heart die, too. At that moment. My soul began to weigh so tediously and my chest was pulled so heavily by gravity. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. Everything was taken away from me and I felt locked in that moment.  
  
".Malfoy is dead."  
  
The words echoed in my head.  
  
Those were all I was left with.  
  
I was empty.  
  
.  
  
I didn't hear the rest of the conversation. I didn't hear the part where they said I was going to be transferred to St. Mungo's. And that chances of my recovery were getting slim.  
  
I reckon I wouldn't have cared. I never would've wanted to recover. Because Draco was gone. And he took with him my soul. And my will to live.  
  
Draco had been all of my reasons to live. My only reason to live.  
  
And now, it was gone.  
  
.:end:.  
  
Summary: Harry is called to the Gryffindor Commons by Hermione and Ron. They tell him that they know about him and Draco, and before Hermione is even able to explain how they found out, Ron declares that Draco is gone. Harry wouldn't believe him and hallucinates and imagines Draco everywhere. After some time, Harry wakes up in the Hospital Wing, supposedly being treated for his delusions, and overhears the conversation between Madame Pomfrey, Hermione, and a personnel from St. Mungo's, revealing the truth about Draco's disappearance and why he shan't ever come back.  
  
A/N: I haven't written in a very long time. Please do forgive me. I haven't been feeling write-y at all recently, and decided to give writing fics again a shot.. No words could ever do justice to how I would feel if you'd be so kind as to review this. Thanks! ü 


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